For those of you who are unaware, this super fun-to-say word actually stands for “Do I look like I give a fart.” Fart also stands for another word. I was introduced to this lovely expression my senior year of college, and given that I am no longer around folks who incorporate dilygaf into their everyday vocabulary, I don’t say it very often. However, I am saying it today. Dilygaf, dilygaf, dilygaf. The problem is I do kind of gaf.
Friends, I’m trying to study for the GRE, and it’s not working. I have been living outside of the academic mindset for one year, ONE YEAR, and already these practice tests are kicking my butt. It’s pretty frustrating. When did I become such a horrible test-taker? Five years ago I got a perfect score on the English section of the ACT, and today I can’t seem to identify the antonyms of half the vocabulary they’re throwing my way. Bombast? More like I’m gonna bomb this, real fast. Cadge? As in Nicolas, silent ‘d,’ right? Irascible? This test is making me irascible. I don’t understand how I possibly performed better on the arithmetic section than the verbal section. Words are my THING, you know? Needless to say, I have entered crisis mode. Who am I? Have I actually been a numbers person all this time?! What in the world made me think I was qualified to teach English? How am I ever going to get into grad school? Did I learn anything in college?
Let’s not even discuss the fact that I am currently stressing over my impending move to Africa. This is poor timing, Sarah. Whatever.