Well, this blog is finally back to where it started, in Philadelphia, PA. I can’t say being back in the city of love (statues) is as romantic as I initially expected. I sat in bumper-to-bumper traffic upon arrival, got a parking ticket after less than 24 hours, learned that my new apartment smells like urine and is nowhere near ready for move-in, spent half of the day lost, and the other half of the day trying to remember why I loved this place so much before. My car, parked on a sketchy side street a good hike from where I am, holds my entire life’s belongings. I’m certain it will get broken into tonight. The city air is thick – no matter how deeply I inhale, I feel like I can’t take in a full breath. Last but not least, everything costs about twice as much as it would down south.
That was quite a spiel of complaints, I apologize. Lesson learned: things do not always turn out the way you expect. In fact, they seldom do. Nevertheless, I am determined to give this city my best effort. Tomorrow I plan to wake up early and go for a run along the Schuylkill, do some serious job searching, and some serious soul searching. Is this where I’m meant to be right now? I guess I’ll never know if I don’t try!
However – I’ve been flipping through Jonathan Wilson-Hartgrove’s Wisdom of Stability recently and I’ve been affected by his conviction to stick things out through thick and thin. I tend to be a runner. I convince myself that what I have isn’t really that great, and I’m terrified of stagnancy. As soon as I start to feel something for a place or a person, it’s time to move on. It’s like I set everything up to self-destruct with a clear end date in mind, convincing myself that it’s less painful.
Plus, where’s the glamour in doing the same thing day in and day out, in the same place, over and over? Life is so much more exciting and fulfilling when you’re on the move! Or is it? Because currently, living out of my car is neither – it’s just exhausting.
Here are some recent life highlights: