I bet you laughed when you read that title. You laughed because “a ray of heartshine” is pretty much the opposite of “chronicles of a badass.” Well friends, laugh all you want, but I have decided to be a little bit more badass.
Ways to be a little bit more badass:
1. Wear as much black leather as possible, and never take off your sunglasses.
2. Replace all smiling with the occasional smirk.
3. Learn some sort of martial arts or take up boxing, get totally ripped.
4. Get a tattoo. (Butterflies, flowers, and random Chinese characters don’t count).
5. Play obscure music really loudly at all times.
6. Live anywhere but suburbia.
7. Be the star and producer of this music video:
Incase you can’t tell, I have found my postgrad existence to be pretty sub-par. I fantasize often about packing a bag and hopping on a flight to Amsterdam. But then I remember that I’m female, I don’t speak Dutch, and I have no money. I thought briefly about trying to get a bar-tending gig (to expand both my bank account AND badass-ness), but that requires bar-tending school, and my parents feel too sorry for me at the moment to pressure me into getting a job. Why do my parents feel sorry for me, you might ask? Long story short: my lifelong dream of becoming a Peace Corps volunteer may or may not have been completely shattered with my diagnosis of Alport Syndrome. Thus I have been sentenced to spend this summer waiting for my new meds to decrease my proteinuria to normal levels. If this happens, hopefully I can get medical clearance and be on my way. If this doesn’t happen, I have to start making some serious Real Life Decisions.
Real Life Decisions.
Decision number one: No matter what happens with my kidneys, I absolutely will not stay in Auburn. I’m only here for the summer, and I am sticking to that. As much as I love my hometown, I’ve realized it doesn’t have very much to offer me anymore. My friends here are mostly transient, and hanging with the rents is fun – but its only a matter of time before that gets old. I am so incredibly lucky to have parents that love me and support me and believe in me as much as mine do, but I am determined to become independent. (I think that’s like, a pre-req for badass-ness).
I’ll let you guys know when I start to add to my list of RLD’s. At the moment, I’m satisfied with just the one.
Some things I’ve done lately include: mourning the loss of my amazing friends and community at the Vista House, finishing The Kite Runner and starting on The Namesake, become semi/mostly vegan, taking Sadie for very long walks whilst listening to NPR podcasts, experimenting with tofu (I made an excellent tofu broccoli stir-fry in peanut sauce, thanks to a dear family friend who brought us some of his freshly harvested broccoli), dancing around the house in my pajamas to Aretha Franklin, temporarily deactivating my facebook, getting a twitter, watching horrible movies with friends (think Footloose remake, The Vow), and a whole lot of nothing. And the nothingness is the worst. Since my biopsy I’ve been commanded to avoid strenuous exercise for two weeks. I’ve got about five more days until I can run and zumba and swim all I want, and that my friends, is five days too long. I never realized how much I dislike “resting” until now. But have no fear, I am filling my summer with all sorts of fun stuff. There will be many adventures. I will share some of them. Promise.